You want to talk about miracles? On the very same day that a very pale doctor informed me that I had terminal cancer most of humanity was annihilated and I survived, and by some mathematical absurdity I became president, and then my cancer disappeared long enough for us to find a way to Earth. You can call it whatever you want. And now, I’m dying.
Doughnuts are bad for you.
awesome job, Krispy Kreme
I’m pretty sure a krispy kreme ad just summarized my views on health better than I can.
Give the ad agency an award or something!
Check out Skorch Magazine’s November 2013 Acceptance Issue and my featured editorial!
I’m super honored to be apart of such an important issue of Skorch, and working with Nichole Alex and Tiffany Kaelin was such an amazing experience!
My new album, Joss Whedon Kind Of Really Sucks and Even Though I Have and May Continue to Enjoy Some of His Shows or Aspects of His Shows That Doesn’t Mean That I Don’t Need To Recognize How They Have A Lot of Problematic Elements, is coming out next week!
It’ll feature such hits as:
- "The Origin Story of the Slayers is What Now?”
- "There’s A Spirit Journey And The Spirit Guide Is Offensive, This Whole Episode Is Offensive"
- "The Black Man Is The Villain Part Eins"
- "The Black Man Is The Villain Part Deux: Wait, So The Twist Is The Black Guy Was the Villain All Along?"
- "Was That Part With Spike And Buffy At The End Of Season Six Really Necessary. Could Spikes Character Development Not Be Achieved Some Other Way."
- "Dude Your Stories Have A Lot of Rape And Sexual Assault In Them."
- "I Guess Every Asian Actor In North America Was On Holiday For The Entirety Of The Filming Of Firefly Because There Sure Are A Lot Of Not Chinese People In This Chinese-American Culture."
- "Dude Your Stories Have A Lot of Rape And Sexual Assault In Them Reprise: Seriously Even Narratives Where Actual Physical Sexual Assault Is Absent Definitely Have This Sort of Undertone Its Creepy"
- "A Lot Of Stories End With Women Getting Punished For Having Sex Part One: Season Two Of Buffy"
- "A Lot Of Stories End With Women Getting Punished For Having Sex Part Two: Faith"
- "A Lot Of Stories End With Women Getting Punished For Having Sex Part Three: Of Course The Sex Worker Has A Secret Fatal Illness"
- "A Lot Of Stories End With Women Getting Punished For Having Sex Part Four: Penny Hecks A Dude, Penny Bites the Dust"
- "A Lot Of Stories End With Women Getting Punished For Having Sex Part Five: Like Going Back To Inara There’s A High Sex Worker Body Count In General"
- "A Lot Of Stories End With Women Getting Punished For Having Sex Part Six: I’m Sure There’s Plenty Of This In Dollhouse But I Can’t Even Parse It All Right Now"
- "A Lot Of Stories End With Women Getting Punished For Having Sex Part Seven: Lesbian Death In The Bedroom And You"
- "Why Does The Black Slayer Have That Accent Also Why Does She Die?"
- "The Origin Story Of The Slayers Is What Now? Reprise: Say That Again About Sierra’s Origin Story Cause I Don’t Think I Heard You Quite Right.”
And of course, the hit classic,
- "You Know, When I First Watched This I Found It Empowering, But Looking Back That Was Just Because It Was All I Had: We Have To Go Begging For Scraps and That’s Why He’s Been Able To Seem So Progressive For So Long"
I don’t talk about my mixed Joss feelings on here because I’m really not about the headlining creators of things since I know how intensely collaborative every creative effort that’s shared with more than 10 people usually is. But. Yeah.
- Xander Harris Is An Appalling Human Being Who Tries To Rape Buffy In S1 But We’re Meant To Forget About It And Ignore The Rest Of His Bullshit Because He’s A Nice Guy: Why Humour Does Not Trump Casual Misogyny
- Anya’s Personality Is Literally Every Negative Stereotype About Women As Greedy, Selfish, Excoriating, Possessive, Controlling, Needy, High-Maintenance, Straw Feminist Golddiggers Ever, But She Gets Some Cool Lines So We’re Meant To Ignore It: The Grossening
- Angel And Spike Are Centuries Old Men In Love With A Teenage Girl And That’s OK, But Connor Being Attracted To Older Women Is A Character Flaw That Wiping His Memories Was Meant To Fix: Double Standards And You
- Stereotypical And Frequently Racist Portrayals Of WOC Where Their Accents Are The Punchline: Kendra, Ampata, The First Slayer And Chao Ahn
- All Our Women Are Dead And Now The Men Have Angst: Why Angel Reinforces The Exact Same Tropes That Buffy Was Meant To Debunk
- Dollhouse: What The Actual Fuck, No, Seriously, Every Single Episode Is A Symphony Of Rape
- Black Men Are A Triumvirate Of Wisecracking Evil, Violence And Moral Ambiguity: Mr Trick, Charles Gunn And Robin Wood
you have to be aware I’m trying to get my apartment super clean for you right
i am aware which is why i’m telling you to relax or watch tv because you know i don’t care about your place being clean. i mean you remember what my room looked like right?
Gina Torres as Morticria Addams
Willow Smith as Wednesday Addams
Giancarlo Esposito as Gomez Addams
Rico Rodriguez as Pugsley Addams
here for it
NK: Oh, my God, no! The opposite! I only like girls. Boys are toys, but girls are forever.
please can this spread like wildfire?
"EVERYBODY KNOWS I’M A MUTHAFUCKIN MONSTERRR"
fucking unbelievable. I am blown away.
ahhh this is AMAZING.so so so good
"Do you think she just woke up one morning and said -"
"I think I’ll go to law school today."
i forgot what a great movie this was, it was a perfect post lsat celebration!
i think i’m gonna celebrate the end of the lsats by watching legally blonde
oh hey are you taking the LSATs on Saturday or Monday?!
saturday and its stresssing me out but i’m glad things are going well for you!!
<33 you and Harry are taking them on the same day then! omg please sleep all day Sunday bb
i feel like i’m gonna be too wired up after the test so the plan is ice cream cake and tv until i pass out in front of my laptop and then sleep all day.